Body Modification Meets Chaos Magick (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} modsmeetmagick) wrote,@ 2007-11-28 15:00:00 |
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Uncomplicate
We all have a multitude of roles and relationships in our lives. Within those relationships, people have certain expectations of us. People have certain boundaries. Our lives are complicated by trying to guess what those expectations are, and trying to live within the boundaries of those we love and cherish. December's goal: uncomplicate.
Identify people in your life who matter to you. No matter how well you think you know someone, there is always more to learn. Ask them questions about what is important to them:
UNCOMPLICATE THOSE YOU LOVE BY GETTING TO KNOW THEM BETTER.
With the holidays approaching, you will have plenty of opportunities to extend this to numerous people. You don't have to sit down with each and every friend and relative, asking them each hundreds of questions. It's actually far simpler than that. Slip a couple questions into a conversation with each person. Even one question will help. People like to be interacted with. People usually like it when others ask their opinion about something. Even one question will help you uncomplicate those around you a little.
If you want to take this one more step, UNCOMPLICATE YOURSELF.
Think about someone you know who is easy going. When you're with them, you don't have to worry about what you say or wear. You don't have to worry about what movie you're going to go see, or what types of restaurants you can go to. Now think of someone who is the opposite way - maybe you feel like you have to dress a certain way around them, make sure you don't mention certain things, and they certainly wouldn't want to hear about certain movies, TV shows, or music. You can't change other people, but you can be aware of your own actions. Don't be that person!
Let go. Let someone else choose the restaurant. Give input where asked, but don't be demanding. Don't put yourself somewhere where you are going to feel threatened or upset, but give a little. Don't be a victim, but don't be a dictator, either.
My family was surprised to hear that I don't like sushi. Every time we're down in San Diego, we go to one of several sushi restaurants. Every time. They were amazed that I don't like sushi, not a little bit, but I think it's the most disgusting thing in the whole world and the mere smell and sight of fish makes me want to hurl. But I've also learned that every sushi restaurant has a killer chicken or beef dish that can put a non-sushi restaurant to shame. My point is, even a vegan can eat at at Black Angus. A carnivore can find something on the salad bar. The bar serves really good non-alcoholic drinks. Go. Be the easy-going person. Find something that works for you wherever you go.
And if you're feeling really adventurous, and the situation arises, you can take this one step further. CREATE SOMETHING UNCOMPLICATED. If you're developing a new relationship, be it friend or potential partner, see if you can agree to be uncomplicated. Attempt to make no demands on each other initially. Each of you pay for your own meals or take turns paying. Try to escape roles of dominant and submissive - whoever gets to the door first opens it, for example. The societal norm of a man buying the woman flowers or other gifts, out the window! Uncomplicate. When you remove the complication, you will realize that only one thing remains - each other. You're spending time with them because you enjoy who they are. You enjoy what they talk about. You enjoy the things you do together. I know a lot of people who are surprised that they like the guy they are with because of the gifts he gives them, or because he can put a roof over their head. When you take away the money and the property and the presents, do you like the person you are spending time with?
"Mr./Mrs. Right" or the best friend you'll ever have will love you for who you are. It won't matter how much time goes by between visits. It won't matter what they can or can't offer you. It won't matter if you smell bad or are wearing your favorite nasty sweatshirt. And, (this one is admittedly harder for the guys) men and women can be friends without weird sexual tension. Not every female/male pair is waiting for a chance to jump each other's bones. And if you are looking at a potential partner, still uncomplicate. If the other person isn't worried about where the relationship is going, is he/she going to kiss me, at what point in our relationship should we x-y-z, then things evolve naturally and are rooted in something more solid than sex and money. Sometimes things really are that UNCOMPLICATED.
Uncomplicate and be uncomplicated.
We all have a multitude of roles and relationships in our lives. Within those relationships, people have certain expectations of us. People have certain boundaries. Our lives are complicated by trying to guess what those expectations are, and trying to live within the boundaries of those we love and cherish. December's goal: uncomplicate.
Identify people in your life who matter to you. No matter how well you think you know someone, there is always more to learn. Ask them questions about what is important to them:
- What flowers to they like?
- What natural environment do they like? Mountains, beach, desert, etc.
- Where is one place they would like to go in the next year?
- Which profane words bother them the most?
UNCOMPLICATE THOSE YOU LOVE BY GETTING TO KNOW THEM BETTER.
With the holidays approaching, you will have plenty of opportunities to extend this to numerous people. You don't have to sit down with each and every friend and relative, asking them each hundreds of questions. It's actually far simpler than that. Slip a couple questions into a conversation with each person. Even one question will help. People like to be interacted with. People usually like it when others ask their opinion about something. Even one question will help you uncomplicate those around you a little.
If you want to take this one more step, UNCOMPLICATE YOURSELF.
Think about someone you know who is easy going. When you're with them, you don't have to worry about what you say or wear. You don't have to worry about what movie you're going to go see, or what types of restaurants you can go to. Now think of someone who is the opposite way - maybe you feel like you have to dress a certain way around them, make sure you don't mention certain things, and they certainly wouldn't want to hear about certain movies, TV shows, or music. You can't change other people, but you can be aware of your own actions. Don't be that person!
Let go. Let someone else choose the restaurant. Give input where asked, but don't be demanding. Don't put yourself somewhere where you are going to feel threatened or upset, but give a little. Don't be a victim, but don't be a dictator, either.
My family was surprised to hear that I don't like sushi. Every time we're down in San Diego, we go to one of several sushi restaurants. Every time. They were amazed that I don't like sushi, not a little bit, but I think it's the most disgusting thing in the whole world and the mere smell and sight of fish makes me want to hurl. But I've also learned that every sushi restaurant has a killer chicken or beef dish that can put a non-sushi restaurant to shame. My point is, even a vegan can eat at at Black Angus. A carnivore can find something on the salad bar. The bar serves really good non-alcoholic drinks. Go. Be the easy-going person. Find something that works for you wherever you go.
And if you're feeling really adventurous, and the situation arises, you can take this one step further. CREATE SOMETHING UNCOMPLICATED. If you're developing a new relationship, be it friend or potential partner, see if you can agree to be uncomplicated. Attempt to make no demands on each other initially. Each of you pay for your own meals or take turns paying. Try to escape roles of dominant and submissive - whoever gets to the door first opens it, for example. The societal norm of a man buying the woman flowers or other gifts, out the window! Uncomplicate. When you remove the complication, you will realize that only one thing remains - each other. You're spending time with them because you enjoy who they are. You enjoy what they talk about. You enjoy the things you do together. I know a lot of people who are surprised that they like the guy they are with because of the gifts he gives them, or because he can put a roof over their head. When you take away the money and the property and the presents, do you like the person you are spending time with?
"Mr./Mrs. Right" or the best friend you'll ever have will love you for who you are. It won't matter how much time goes by between visits. It won't matter what they can or can't offer you. It won't matter if you smell bad or are wearing your favorite nasty sweatshirt. And, (this one is admittedly harder for the guys) men and women can be friends without weird sexual tension. Not every female/male pair is waiting for a chance to jump each other's bones. And if you are looking at a potential partner, still uncomplicate. If the other person isn't worried about where the relationship is going, is he/she going to kiss me, at what point in our relationship should we x-y-z, then things evolve naturally and are rooted in something more solid than sex and money. Sometimes things really are that UNCOMPLICATED.
Uncomplicate and be uncomplicated.
